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I've never been really slim, but I've been just the okay size. Recently I started gaining weight like mad. Everyone makes fun of me about it. I'm so fat right now that I hate myself. I don't have time to exercise, I work Monday to Saturday. I can't afford dieting, it's pretty expensive. I just hate how I look in the mirror. My self confidence is crashing. I can't even take group pictures because I look like a pig. I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm afraid to see my boyfriend because I am twice the size he knows. He says he doesn't care about my size and loves me all the same, but I still feel awful about it. I want to end the relationship because I may not meet his expectations and he wouldn't want to hurt me by saying anything about the size. I tried eating twice or once a day but nothing seem to be working. Bottom line is I hate myself and I hate taking pictures because of this. I can't even go back home to see my parents and siblings because they would say a lot of things to make me feel worse. Even random people on the street will say things about my size that hurts like hell. I can't use public transport because the conduct will ask me to sit somewhere else because I am fat and will limit the number of people sitting. I'm tired. I am deeply pained, I am sad.