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Anonymous

I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for almost 4 years now, we were okay. Though he was in school when we met, he graduated and we were still together. We occasionally had issues but we resolved them almost immediately. When he graduated he traveled to Lagos from port Harcourt where we both base. We had a fight, it was about his ex girlfriend. He told me he was going go fix things and we will be fine. After a month and about 2 weeks he came back to port Harcourt, we were even closer than ever, he even made our relationship public and we were making plans for our future together. 3 weeks after his birthday which was in march this year he started acting up, I made excuses for him and kept trying to get things back together until one day in April I felt I had the right to know what was going on so I went to his place and started talking to him. He never wanted to open up anything to me, he only apologized and used work as his reason for his recent actions but I knew it was not true so I continued to ask him for the truth, he tried playing with my mind so I could let the issue go but I refused. Finally he told me a Lady was 7 months pregnant for him and she did not tell him until 3 weeks after his birthday when he started acting up. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry, my head was in a mess and my mind was blank. I asked him for the way forward and he said he was so confused. When I got to the junction he left, my legs could not carry me anymore so I sat on the ground and started crying. I had to call on one of my friends who was a doctor, when I told him everything he immediately came over and took me to my house. Somehow I was able to survive that night, the next day everything got worse I kept crying. I called him and asked him what we should do about the whole mess. He said he loved me but he made a mistake when he traveled to Lagos and used the quarrel we had as an excuse for what he did and he started giving me attitude which became a reason for my love for him to go cold, after a while about 3 weeks or so he wanted us to have sex, he said we were adults and should be able to handle little stress like what happened. Funny enough he cut off every relationship with his ex and got a girl he only just met there at Lagos. Right now I don’t hate him but somehow I’m not taking all the guys asking to marry me seriously, It’s just so difficult for me to bring myself to love again please I need help.

6 thoughts on “Anonymous”

  1. How old are you? And how long ago did the break up happen?

    I know you will be able to bring yourself to love. You were hurt, you just need time to heal. Trust me, some people have gone through worse and they still got back. Its just a matter of time,

    Time heals all wounds. You were wounded. You will be fine

      1. 3 months ago…You are already stronger dear. though I wont advice you go into any relationship immediately. Give yourself more time to heal. Focus on developing yourself, your career or business. Read books, enjoy life and be happy.

    1. Good day, Your past shouldn’t define your future. Life is too short to cry over spilt milk. Don’t you think you will be doing yourself more harm by living in your past. Let go of what was and picture a brighter tomorrow. I hope this helps.

    2. Smile… Hv seen worse cases,,, urs isn’t that bad, u not yet married… Any way.. Love indeed is a mystery. It pains wen d one u love fail to reciprocate back the feelings. In this ur case, you hv to really settle down and think about your man, yes he had made a mistake,, he’s not d first nd won’t be d last,, you hv to think of all the things/qualities u saw in him that made u fall deeply inlove with him, you hv to think and see the possibility of spending eternity with him… If you still be able to live with d situation as it is now and he still got love for you,, then you have stand by him through this period. But if the uncle don change entirely, asin his not feeling any remorse, giving u cold shoulders, not visiting, you should know when he don’t want you again… I know u most be a very beautiful damsel,, seeing d years you hv spent /wasted with him, althought its painful,, but u won’t kill urself bcus of him na.. U allowing depression to overpower you is of no good,, if you die,, u share deeper pains to ur family nd love ones and d IDIOT go still get another fine girl marry, bear children nd leave happily while you go da somewhere ****…. Aunty you hv to stay strong,, work on yourself,, stay positive,, hang out,, go to parties,, visit love ones mk new friends… N trust me, one fine genuine bobo might just walk up to you… You major goal is to stay HAPPY nd ntin shud deprive you

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