Anonymous

I was talking to a guy on tinder and he mentioned that he was busy and will be busy throughout the weekend. He is just like me, profession wise, and I envy that he is busy. I am a recent graduate and I have said it more than a hundred times that this is a bad year to graduate and I was prepared for it when the last semester started. I knew I would receive rejections from hiring managers, I knew I will have to struggle a lot considering I am an international student in a foreign land. But what hurts me is, people, don’t even consider me for a single position. I am experienced, I have done internships and part-time jobs related to my field, and still, nobody notices me. I am trying almost all job portal websites. Like I am actively trying to connect to other people who are already working for some firms that are my dream jobs. I am trying to get in touch with hiring managers, trying my best to create an impression. Giving more than what is needed for a position where I am a perfect fit. And after all of this, when I see the status, “not an ideal match at the moment”, it crushes me. I have started to stop believing that I will land a job anytime soon. But I also know that only I can help myself and if I give up, nobody can pick me up. Every morning I tell myself that I have experienced in the past, whenever something bad happens, something good is followed by and it’s better than what you were expecting. And I am only get up and again start over everything with that hope in my mind. If I receive a clear rejection, I tell myself something better is coming up. If I don’t see any clear message, I don’t let myself believe that it’s gonna end up negatively, I keep in fooling myself that it will take time but it will be all good, which I know it will be. I am not a loser, I know I will come up with something eventually, but I just can’t wait and have more patience now. I have pulled myself out from worst situations before, I just wish I had someone along with me to whom I could go and cry out loud. I have friends, they are back in my home country, they are available for me and I am grateful for them, but I lack the physical pat on my back, the close tight hugs, and the slaps when they are necessary. I just hope to come back here soon and write “I did it!, I conquered this time.”