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Hi..... I'm depressed and even I know it.I don't know how it started or what triggered it but I just know I am. I'm a part 5 law student in a Nigerian University and I don't even know if that's what I want to do.Everyone around me seems to know what they wanna do with their life but I don't and this has always bothered me. Then there's my family. We are not rich but we're very comfortable.My parents gave birth to 2 children; I'm the eldest,a girl,then my younger brother.My dad is the type that is around but distant,I mean he lives with us and provides what we need,but we're just not close to him like we are we with my mum,I even barely sit and talk to him unless it's important. My mum on the other side , even though always around have chosen a favourite child,who is my brother and she doesn't hesitate to make it obvious.This has taken a huge toll on my self esteem.I mean if I'm a 2nd choice to my mum,then something is definitely wrong with me.Anytime school is on break and I'm home, I do all the chores without help most times and when I report my bro to my mum on any matter,the blame somehow falls back on me and I stopped reporting him. I have quite a few friends,some from childhood and others when I grew up.I find it very difficult to make friends and even the few I have,none of them can say I'm their best friend,I'm always a choice to them and this has done more damage to my self esteem and has always made me feel like a pushover. Then there's my boyfriend of 4 years, we've been dating since my part 1 in the university,when we got to part 3, I found out he has been cheating on me with his so called neighbor and all the feelings I had for him went down the drain.It didn't even take long for me to forgive him and continue the relationship because I'm scared of how lonely I will be without him, he's been present in my life for the past four years.We had a fight about another girl few weeks ago and I told him I was done,only for him to upload on his WhatsApp status and directly call me a toy he has used well.He apologized after uploading that and I still accepted his apology.I Know I'm pathetic but I'm just scared of being alone, I don't even love him anymore. I also discovered something in my life, it's the fact that if everyone has something the easy way,when I decide to do mine,it's always the hard way and that's if I even get to do it at all, nothing comes easy for me and it makes me wonder if I'm destinied for negativity All these events made me come to the conclusion that I'm good for nothing and will always be a second choice,if not the last choice for people.I've also thought about past events where people have stepped on me,hurt my feelings and made me feel like a pushover and I didn't even complain because I don't know what to say and I hate being embarrassed.I feel like I need a therapy and that's why I'm here and it sincerely hope that you would be able to help me.