I’ve been in a 4 year relationship. Everything was rosy for about 2 years(or so I thought) and the remaining 2 have been terrible.
My boyfriend started having problems with every and any thing. He’d complain about me returning late from work, about my “new” work friends, about my dressing (which had/has always been the same), everything.
Then, each time he got/gets angry,he’d blow up and rain insults on me,totally forgetting who he’s speaking to. Several times, I’d talk to him, telling him how much it hurt me when he behave that way, several times he apologized and several times he continued.
He had/has a problem when we aren’t together 24/7. I made him understand that I loved and enjoyed his company but sometimes I needed to be alone or with friends and then he countered it with “but you’re always at work with other people”.
PS: we don’t stay together.
There was this day we played truth or dare and I told him to tell me something he has always wanted to say but never had the time to, and what he said was “I know you’re cheating on me”.
He’s very insecure and I have told him, every single time, “I’m not interested in any other person but you”.
There was this period we had a fight and for weeks we didn’t speak to each other or meet.
I figured he needed his space after countless attempts to iron things out,then let him be.
Eventually things came back to normal.
One day while we were together and was talking, he mentioned he had an infection and it was quite unpleasant and discomforting, I asked where it was, and he motioned it was his privates.
I said he needed tests and then treatment and assured him he’ll be fine. He then turned it to me, saying he got it (the infection) from me. I was confused. We hadn’t had sex in nearly 4 months and if I had it, I’d definitely know and treat myself.
I felt hopeless.
The fights have been continuous. I’ve tried all I can. Conversations are getting boring by the day.
I told him we needed to go our separate ways since we didn’t see anything in the same light. He refused, adamantly.
But he isn’aking any effort to fix the broken pieces.
And, yes, he reminds me each day that he’s doing me favor being with me.
And I’ve asked that he leaves me be and he has refused.
He begs and cries and buys gifts or sends money each time I tell him I’m not interested in the relationship anymore.
What exactly do I do? Deep down I really love him. I’m getting depressed by the day. I’m tired of being tortured emotionally. I just need some sort of assurance, to feel better, to be a better version of myself.
Anonymous
Good morning from the story both of you love your self’sand the problems is that your boyfriend us kind of unsecured.I myself get unsecured in my relationship when my partner becomes very attractive,changes behaviourtowards me,hardly have time for me for me,or u want more love and am not getting it.please do a little research on yours and find where the insecurity is coming from and deal with it since you guys still love yourselfs and not ready to let go of each other.
Anonymous
This is a classic story of a burning flame that is losing oil and the flame is gradually burning out.
Just like in marriages, they get to stages like this and its like “why did I even marry this man, nothing is working”. Then they have to seek marriage counselling or risk their marriage heading for the rocks.
I feel your pain dear. Your happiness is the ultimate though. If you love him yet you’re not happy with him then definitely some things about him need to change. I would suggest a break, if it was me that’s what I will do, take a break, a proper break from the relationship. No calls, no chats no watching his whatsapp stories or seeing him.
Take this time to reflect on wether the relationship is worth continuing