When growing up till now. I’ve always felt like I

When growing up till now. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong like I God created me by mistake, my mom hates me and my dad who loved me died 2years ago, wen my dad died I was so frustrated dat I failed my exam (going to 300l) and I was withdrawn. My boyfriend bought jamb form for me and I gained admission last year… Since i wasnt loved I’ve tried killing myself 3 time by talking insecticides, but I ended in d hospital Everytime. I love my boyfriend so much but he break up almost Everytime but i ended up begging if am wrong or not. On Saturday, my mom and I had a big quarrel and she called me a prostitute and my mates are done with school, I started crying few minutes late I got a call from my boyfriend saying he no longer love… Out of frustration I took 20 tablets of a sleeping drugs thinking I would die but nothing happened… Pls I need help cos am tired, confused