This is an open letter to the world
“It’s better to speak up than to die in silence “ they say. But they forget to add that most times you speak up yet you are ignored, ridiculed, most times your story won’t even be believed. It’s very painful when you finally decide to “break your wall” and let someone in by telling your story to someone you felt would listen yet they choose to ignore.
My name is Gift, and I’m a victim of rape. I lived with this guilt for 8months before opening up to my mum-what did she do? She didn’t believe my story, she didn’t take me for test, she sometimes bring up the rape incident to torture or ridicule me. I’ve been complaining to her since the past one year that I’ve been having smelly discharge and i need to go to the hospital yet she pays deaf ears to my cries. I’m a very fun to be person, i light up the mood wherever i go, but when I’m alone, i cry. I cry everyday, I’m tired, I’m frustrated. I’ve been body shamed since i was 12 coz i have dark underarms-the body shaming comes mostly form my sisters especially my elder sis. I’ve always begged my mum to get me exfoliating soap so that i can wear sleeveless proudly in hot weathers without feeling bad yet she paid deaf ears. I have a habit known as bruxism( you can do the research). Waking up to a locked jaw every morning is enough reason to commit suicide. I’ve been harboring suicidal thoughts, everyday i withdraw into my shell without talking to any of my family members. They won’t even look at me talk more of caring, i always hear their laughters, mockery and side remarks-“she’s seeking for attention” “what is wrong with that one” and lastly my mum’s favourite line- “who cares”
Staying in such a toxic environment, especially as I’ve not healed from the incident that happened to me is brain draining and it’s telling so much on my mental health. I opened up to only one person, someone I’ve admired since i was 16, i begged to come stay with her, i begged her to save me from this suicidal thoughts, she didn’t give me the reply i wanted. Maybe she thought i was one of those instagram beggars. At least it will be on record that i reached out before Suicide coz right now, I AM TIRED!!😭😭.
I’m just 18, but I’ve gone through alot.
info@fortranhouse.com
Hello good day the truth is that you are not alone thank God that you being brave enough to tell your story and that’s where the healing starts maybe your mother and sibling do not just understand you that’s why they behave like that.SUICIDE is never a solution but meeting appropriate people to help you go through it.please call a family meeting and tell you family how serious it is and also try and talk to a professional counsellor for further help.