I don’t know what’s wrong with me I find my self c

I don’t know what’s wrong with me I find my self crying all the time I feel like my family is ganging up on me I feel like they all secretly hate me I hate how I feel around people I hate how I just want to die I hate been so sensitive to everything I’m always sensitive to others emotions but no one seems to give a shit about me it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be fine I hate how impulsive I am why do I even do this things why am I scared that everyone will realise and worthless and go I can’t really say how I feel just uncomfortable everywhere even at home I have this fantasy in my head where I’m perfect and I have these friends Danny,nessa,Sam and Zara only this isn’t real and it feels so bad I want to feel loved and appreciated but there’s always this feeling that I’m not worth it and no one cares about me it needs me I’m scared how can I be in control of my life my future and my past I want nothing to take me by surprise I want to know what happens before it does,but I’m dying slowly it doesn’t hurt when I cut anymore I’m going to try burning tho,I just wish someone would help me tell me why I’m so weird I just want to be normal