So I’ve never really been at home for too long. Be

So I’ve never really been at home for too long. Been in a boarding school till 2018. Currently in University and now the Corona and Assu break forces me in. Mom and dad haven’t talked in like 3 years but we live in one house with all the nagging and complains and all. The past 9 months have been miserable . I wake up around 10AM I can’t sleep sometimes, I hallucinate, I feel less concerned about life, I can’t even eat I’m just loosing it gradually. My mom yells at me at the slightest that I don’t eat , you better eat,are you looking for sickness even right now that I’m down with malaria. I wonder if she ever thinks there’s something wrong that I can’t eat. Can she ever talk to me and ask me why I could go from morning till night with no food. Can my brother stop the yelling and see that this is not the person they knew many months ago. I am severely depressed nobody cares. Everyone is yelling and my dad having extra marital fun. Well I’ve been googling asking for help and they’re all paid. I just turned 18 last October how do I pay for a counselor when I’m not working and get no allowance.I pray God to help me, I’m never considering suicide but if you see this please reach out to me. My friends and family have failed me here