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I'm not supposed to feel this way but I do, right from when I was little I've always witnessed the worst people I've always been put down, bullied, ridiculed you name it and my parents were the ones championing it and before I knew it I was struggling some days I feel like I can't breathe somedays I feel like death is so much better than this yesterday my father ridiculed and I finally snapped and put my hands on him, God I wish I didn't cause just like always he's going to twist into his own narrative my mom tried to beat me into submission but I just kept screaming I know I hurt them by not being the child they wanted, by having ADHD, by being fat, by being a girl. sometimes I ask myself how better life would be if I wasn't there bothering them oh did I mention that my cousin's were sexually assaulting me under my parents nose cause they were to busy wishing for a son