Hello everyone, my name is Luis.. Right now I just feel my whole life is a mess (an unsalvageable one)
Okay, my story is like this.. I had a great secondary education and headed for university, everything was great til my 3rd year,I had a bunch of carryovers and then everything went sour, I ended up spending (wasting) 6years in school before dropping out..
The funny thing is that I never got to tell my family (a few persons know about mwe dropping out of school, but not anyone in my family) The reason I did that is because, my family isn’t so financially buoyant, I can’t imagine their reactions to how they’ll start raising finances all over again for me to get back to school.. Even money to do the basic things in the house now is a problem, then I’ll come and drop my own bombshell on them? I afraid it’ll break them.. Because daily they complain how things are hard and I see how they sincerely work, doing their best to make ends meet.. The reason I withheld the news of me dropping out of school from them for so long, was to give myself sometime to try and raise finances for myself, so that when I break the news to them, I’ll be in capacity to take myself back to school and even be able to support them financially.. But it hasn’t worked out at all like that since I came back home last year..
There are always signs that I’m making progress, but after a while everything crumbles.. I’ve cutoff from almost everyone around me for now, so that I wouldn’t have to burden them with my problems, I would have time to focus on my life and so that I wouldn’t have to lie to people when they ask me about what’s going on in my life..
Everyday I try to give my best but it just seems the weight only keeps getting heavier and I don’t think I can bear it anymore.. Some days I feel like I would just sleep and never wake but I’m here (and I thank God for that) I don’t know what to do, who to meet for help or where to go.. I just want find a way to get myself out of the mess I’ve made for myself and not add to the pressures already existing in my family.
I want to be a source of great help to them, not a liability and an excessive burden to them..
Thank you for your time and patience reading this.. God Bless..
Anonymous
Hello its really nice to see that you have a nice heart and you don’t want to hurt anyone except yourself well the truth always set you free and again you don’t have to run from everyone trust me they all have problems too.
Anonymous
One of the hardest truth we do not want to accept is that education (as we know it in Nigeria) is not for everyone.
Yes, you spent 6 years in school, what did that teach you about yourself? Ask yourself this question everyday until you get an answer.
It won’t take long I promise, look at your self in the mirror and ask if you have to, journal your thoughts if you have to, but try to ask yourself this question everyday.
What is that thing you love to do?
Not what you feel will give you the most money (I know financial abundance is at the top of your list right now but just play along?) the thing you actually love to do?
Please reply.
Anonymous
Hi.. Thanks so much for your comment, it means a lot..
I’ve actually considered the fact that going to school isn’t actually for everybody but education is a must for everyone.. Though as you said, our system in Nigeria is messed up..
About what you said, about doing what I love? Music would be it for me.. I love Choral and Classical music and lately I’ve been trying to learn more about music theory and learn to play the keyboard..
And financial abundance is somewhere on my list alright, but not right at the top..
Thanks a lot