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I thought of killing my self today, or die in my sleep I don't know what i have I think i have Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder I'm sacred I've been depressed for 4yrs now Thats why i want to be happy everyday to cover this emotions. But yet I have mood swing, Sleepless night Sometimes I'm rude, sometimes i dont want to talk to anyone It all started after i got raped 4yrs ago. I built a wall around me, i dont want anyone to talk to me or advice me, so i became my worst version, i do whatever i want to do, afterall when i was good , my dignity was stolen from me .so what good can i be. I dont internationally become rude.because i try my possible best to be happy with people around me. Untill now i discover i cant stay in this world anymore