Hi. I started feeling odd last year July after a b

Hi. I started feeling odd last year July after a bad drug trip. I have moments frequently when I just start crying because I feel like I’m not here or I don’t exist. I often have to touch objects for assurance. Sometimes I hear my own voice and get scared because I wonder who I am sometimes or how I came to be. I feel like I’m in a book and I don’t have a choice when it comes to my actions. Like someone else controls it and I’m just the observer watching it happen. I’m scared I’m going crazy. Sometimes I look out the window and feel confused and scared because of colours and people. I then have to quickly put my earphones in and listen to music to distract me. I have a serious fear of going mad. It wasn’t drug abuse. It was a first time use and it was a bad trip. I don’t use drugs on a normal day. The frequency of me having breakdowns seemed to be reducing but I lost my father about a month back and it started everything up again with the same intensity. Whilst I walked with his coffin to bury him, I was just wondering what I was doing there and didn’t understand who I was and how things had happened. Everything is just moving fast and it’s hard to handle.