I work as a house maid in the middle east my boss

I work as a house maid in the middle east my boss son harassed me sexual so many times, I didn’t want to leave the house because the mom was good to me so I started having sex with him and now he treats me badly than before and I’m depressed at times I feel like hitting myself, I’m so ashamed of myself and I hate me, if I knew he will treat me bad after sex I would have left early, he only smile at me when he wants sex, after sex he treats me badly and talk Bad about me to his family… Pls what should I do, I have tried to leave the family to another family but they won’t let me go and if anyone finds out about this in the family I am as good as dead… I need advice