I feel depressed,I feel every one hates me,in fact

I feel depressed,I feel every one hates me,in fact of recent I quarrel with every one,is like what I don’t want or I asked not for that is what keeps happening.
I will be 32 by September,work in a small company (fast growing)I just just the head of administration,was transfer from another state I have been working with the director,before the transfer,he also got some staff from another similar production company to ass it the business,they have the technical knowhow,4 of them 1 supervisor,1 store keeper/ procurement and I account/ secretary.
Thing where not too good at first because those of 4 guys find it difficult to report to me or respond to any question I ask as the job goes on it was frustrating.
There was one of them looks calm a job got us together and after that I decided to be close to him may be from there other will like me,they hate when the boss pass message through me,they hate me in fact you can see it in them.
I kept this closeness with this guy and we started dating after some months,but things became bad gradually.
I might ask a simple question to enable me give report or find out why any didnt come to work and I get insulted raised voices at me,and this guy get reported and he will call me and finish me,he will say to me (stop asking for any information you don’t have the right,Oga has not made you the manager,we don’t have manager)this guys made even casual staffs drivers,cleaners not to regard me words and my so called boyfriend keep making feel am the bad person.
I might talk to casual staff(those that do packaging) for things they didn’t do properly any of those 4 guys will counter it like I don’t have the right to talk to them.
My guy will come back home and tell me am wrong,if he comes to my office to request for stationary I ask him to pick from the drawer where o arrange them he will insist I stand up from my sit and hand it over to him if not we will start quarreling.
I have broken up with him many times😉 because of different display of shame and not having my back in the office.
He begged and would come back after making promises,and I will always tell my self that I have to endure if not I no go marry oo.The company is a small growing one so every one knows we are dating including the director one day he did one so bad that the director told them that if they could not respect me that means they don’t respect him after everything the boss called me that he is employing a manager so all this will stop,things stopped because both I and the manager do things in the administration together.
We went home December to see my parent.
Came back,work started and every thing started all over again I could not even talk,I was in charge of sales meaning I still needs to enter the factory and find out things,every thing started again but I could manage better than before but what I could not Handel or take is if its coming from the guy am dating,recently the company asked us to park to a house under construction because they don’t want to pay rent anymore,I beg this 4 guys/men let’s park they refuse that every thing must be in order,the house is complete the issue is light and water,the company has paid NEPA to connect the house they are just the one delaying for water the plumber say when there is light before water can be connected.
The boss said he was going to remove it from salary if we keep staying I’m the rented apartment,I called my guy to tell him he started being offended angry with me as if am the boss,I called the meeting told the every one they where bit polite in telling some things they are not comfortable with,but come and see my boyfriend that I told secretly earlier being angry bragging and shouting🤦
I was very angry because I have been giving information about the house issue not just that day since January till April so why take it angrily and why shouting at me, I started giving him space,and one day we got into a slit disagreement in the company just both of us and he bought the house issue how I spoke to him,I told him I don’t want to talk about that issue because If I remember what he Did I will not talk to him for life he should transfer the movie I came for let me go(he downloads movie with is phone) and there was this season we where following up,I stopped since we had issue only for me to call me if I no longer want to continue the movie which I went to him for before the issue started and he carried the phone and hit it on the ground and break it😂
I started giving space I don’t want to raise alarm because I know na me shame go catch🤦 hu mm mm mm I asked him to him me with his phone the next day because I usually communicate with my boss with phone,I refused and asked me to leave his office,I manage to leave send a text to him the 3rd day he sent his phone to me to replace my phone,I kept giving him space on till on Thursday he came to my office to collect pen and I found out the pen was finished from it pack so I told him we will ask for replacement. and he requested if I I have 2 to help him with one,so I checked my table and saw two so I gave him one (the old one) my boss called I left only to come back and see the old pen on my table I was angry and mad it was like the pain of the phone he broke came back I rush after him calling on him but he refuse to answer I followed him till I got to his office and he asked me to leave his office,Chai on top of my pen I was mad my boss was coming on I heard his voice so I let him go and went out of the office came back to his office there was a man there that wanted to fix machine I told him take this pen and gave me the other one this oa the one I gave you he said it before the man I should leave his office that am looking for trouble Chai I left the anger I started pouring out on every one in the office that day people where like is because of common biro,my boss said the guy done have right to pick anything from my table let alone changing what I gave him with out my permission is because o have brought my self down,all of us do runs even me as a married man I carry babe but you can’t see me with my staff,if you want to eat frog eat big one. Those are the exact words of my boss,I felt stupid and ashamed throw it on my brother at home,a vendor that was to drop doors for the company new project said something bad to me I change it on him,my boss called that if am having issue with every one I should work on my self. Hum mm I couldn’t go to work the next day I feel so terrible. Am ashamed and I hate that guy so much.sorry to use that but the love just turned that way after acting that drama in the office he came home wanting to talk to me,I didn’t give listening ear because that’s what he does always.
Thanks for your time I just wish someone can relate.