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Hi I think I self sabotage I often overthink things and not express myself and let people take advantage of me. I think it's also victims narcissm I intentionally push people away when they get closer... ... I also feel like I'm not growing mentally like I grew up too fast I was always more mature then my peers which made me very depressed at an early age I practiced self harm even when I was little now I'm older it seems everyone else is more mature than I am...like why am I this depressed people who have more issues than I am aren't depressed like my life isn't so bad but why I thought maybe because of my personality I'm melancholic but it doesn't make sense.. I want healthier relationships I've sabotaged most of the ones I had I can't seem to draw the line between withdrawal and building up walls and over sharing when I find someone I trust.. I also can't accept love it's a bizzare concept I say I accept in the surface but deep down I can't I'm scared I might never find the right person.