Please, am I overreacting?
Background:
I and my wife have been married for 3 years without a child. We have gone for test and it was discovered that I have azoospermia. It been tough but we are dealing with it. We love each other very much. The thing is my job doesn’t allow me to be around all the time, so she’s almost always lonely and as there is no child yet to be her companion. She doesn’t really go out or have friends like that.
The issue:
Fast-forward to 6 months ago, she met a guy on Twitter and started catfishing with him. At the time, he ll call her at late hours and sometimes she excuses herselfto makethe call in the room, laughing and it made me curious that she was always chatting with him. I asked her and she said, he was just a friend. I couldn’t bear it as this continued, I went back to work and I tried to be so present in her life, calling ad chatting her up just to ensure she isn’t so lonely but I will call her at night and she will be busy on another call..of course the guy…sometimes she lied about it. This whole act made me snoop into her phone and I saw flirty messages shared between both of them. Even romantic writeups that my wife doesn’t send to me. I got heartbroken and I couldn’t contain this. I confronted her and she made me look guilty for not trusting her and snooping into her phone. I tried explaining to her that it’s not about trust. It’s about giving attention that I solely deserve to a guy who doesn’t even know her true identity.
We sorted it. I tried to be more romantic, more chatty, even while there catfish relationship continued. I had felt with time, it will dwindle and end as she is a kind of person that gets tired of things so fast.
At a time, the guy suddenly stopped reading or responding to her chats and she was so worried that she made me call him to find out if he is alright anonymously. Even though she felt he found out about her true identity and wasn’t happy about it.
Now 6 months after,she isn’t slowing down, I still snoop her phone and I see messages like I love u, I missed u and other deary words that she doesn’t even use with me regularly. This constantly breaks my heart.
I don’t want to confront her cos I promised her I won’t snoop her phone.
I know that she can’t have any sexual relationship with him. I trust her. But I am not comfortable with the interaction they share. And that she is so comfortable lying about her identity to someone else for that long.
Should I be worried. Is confronting her wrong. Am I just overreacting?
Anonymous
Hello dear yes you have to be worried and you have to confront her daily because that will put her on check,from what your saying feeling already exist between them and if you don’t want to loose her or be heart broken give her your time and be jealous and curious about her friendship.
Anonymous
To answer your first question. No. You’re not overreacting its normal to act the way you are. It’s your wife. It seems there is something else your wife wants that she is not getting from you and has not told you yet what it is