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So I'm 23 years old,and in my 3rd year in the university. It's been almost 4 years now since my parents got separated and it's been a whole struggle for me having to choose who to live with. It's either I stay with my dad who isn't even financially stable to get a comfortable apartment,and a 3 square meal everyday is not so certain. OR..... stay with my mum,who would put a roof over my head and guarantee me a 3 square meal everyday,but it comes with constant nagging, berating, hurtful comparisons when she's mad, like I literally get really anxious around her when she's angry. She gets mostly angry when I and my siblings communicate with our dad. If not for my father's financial situation at the moment, I'd rather stay with him,she knows how much I really love my dad,so she thinks I'm the only one who communicates with him,whereas my siblings secretly communicate with him too, so she can think they are on her side. She calls me wicked and terrible for being on my dad's side. And I've never taken anyone's side when they had their constant fights when we were all living together. My only escape from all this is when I'm in school, at least I'm away from the whole family drama. I'm suffering severe anxiety, I was diagnosed of this sometime around last year and I'm glad I have insight about my anxiety but its been a whole struggle for me because I still find myself in situations that gives me anxiety (family,coupled with school work and stress). I'm currently at home recieving online lectures because, my school was shut down due to covid outbreak. This past few days has been taking a toll on me,because she(my mom) found out I got few groceries from my dad and brought them home. It made her really angry and she even threatened to throw me out of her apartment,she doesn't want me cooking with her gas,she knows how emotional I get and she finds every word that would hurt me emotionally. I discussed what happened with my dad,and my old man begged me to cope,because he can't house me at the moment and I totally understand that. Truth be told,the whole issue has messed me up mentally and emotionally and I don't know how long I'll be able to hold it in. Oh! I've suffered several emotional breakdown due to the fact that I supress my emotions a lot,they don't even know about this. Sigh! How do I keep coping? How do I get out of this shit hole?