(Please i want to be anonymous)So I started got in contact with an old time primary school classmate of mine and we got back in touch and started talking and one thing led to another we started dating and we dated for a year and some months and then everything became sour thou we’ve been having few hiccups mostly from me
I guess telling white lies to avoid from hurting deeply wasn’t a good idea but I never for once cheated but most times he gets annoyed when I talk to certain individuals and he complains I don’t keep boundaries between friends well everything was just there till I travelled to see him and I just decided to chill till I got some things in place ( probably still regretting why I went) but after some months questions started coming when you leaving but i explained finally i left but i was to return but on my return i was supposed to go to my aunt’s since my cousin had returned I travelled but when I told him I was coming back the reaction I got thou but I brushed it off till I returned stayed for two nights and left I came visiting some days( never slept over) I noticed that our calls had stopped wasn’t how it used to be even reply my messages he now always says his busy but I just didn’t talk still then i left that location went to another then I had an interview I told him that if am not done on time I’ll come over he says okay I did slept then luckily I got called back and I went on my return I was tired and hungryI wanted to rest he then asked if i was leaving i said no and he said I need to that his friend and girlfriend are coming over was shocked am your girlfriend not your side chick or just a friend and then I took my bags and left and left he didn’t call till evening unfortunately i couldn’t go back to my location because my cousin who I was with travelled and I didn’t carry my own house key had to go sleep in another friends place ( female to be precise)then his call came told him I didn’t go again and all and he started asking questions but I was pissed so i really didn’t answer the next day through out he didn’t call at all tell I texted the next day long story short after I complained he apologized and then said he needs space that if I meet someone else i could ball
I just didn’t want to answer
Gave him time not too long I kept texting to know how he was till few months later I just got tired my messages he was rarely replying eben calls most times same I just had to ask him if this is going to work and all
And he texted back saying he doesn’t think it will work now and funny thing is he kept saying he was too busy to see me but had his friends to go see him
I really love him I know I hurt him but I apologized to the best of my knowledge and tried to do better but I don’t think I deserved all that happened to me
Anonymous
From what you have described above, and this is based on the information you have given above, I do not see you being in a healthy relationship. I am not saying yet that the relationship is bad and that you should pull out. I am saying you two have not properly defined what you guys have and you both need to learn some basics about relationships.
You claim you love him, but I would have loved to hear and know in particular things that you love about him and love in him for what I am sensing is nothing but attraction and also “this is someone that I know from way back.”
You guys don’t seem to know each other sufficiently to decide on a relationship. I wish I could say more, but based on what you have said there, I may not be able to continue unless I get some more information. Hey friend, one of the ways we counsellors help people through therapy is first to know what need that particular addiction meets in their lives.
So, do this self-help (and I hopeit helps)
What need does this activity meet in my life?
When do I always do this?
What feelings do I usually have just before I do this?
What is it that I deeply want when about doing it?
What time of the day and after what activity do I usually do this?
If you are able to answer these, you would be able to spot some clues on how to learn new behaviours and activities to deal with this.
If you choose to take this further, you may Whatsapp me on +2348125086798 or click on http://www.tinyurl.com/ChatEarlAlright