I hurt myself today for the first time, I made myself feel pain and weirdly it made me feel better. Been wanting to hurt myself so bad, feel like hurting myself with a pair of scissors. I deserve pain, I know I do.
Sometimes I wonder why I exist. Wake and sleep to emptiness and sadness, bad to the point I’ve sad dreams. Dreams where I am hurt and in pains.
Today was so different. Felt more of what I’ve ever felt. Begged a very close friend to come around but me being me i pissed off that person. Finally decided I need help but I can’t afford it.
