Am so scared, am scared I might not be here for my teenage son, as a single mom the only thing I think has kept me alive till now is the fear of who will take care of my son, it’s almost 3am I can’t sleep, am in the house my hearts pounding cos I think someone is at my balcony trying to come inside, I took a bus one day, i tried to enter, just because the passengers where looking at me, I came down cos I thought they were kidnappers, I don’t sit at back of a bus, cos I feel the bus will crash and I won’t be able to escape because am at the back sit, am always screening at the driver, bus driver, Uber driver anyone driving me, even when they driving slow I feel they driving too fast, my heart starts to beat, I gasp for air, am always going out my an inhaler because I know when I get on a bus am scared till we arrive.
One time, my son was in school, he was five min late, just five minutes late, I called him and he didn’t pick, called he’s teachers no answer, my soul almost left my body, I rushed to the school, I got there screaming he’s name the gate man and teachers came down, and told me he was in a meeting with the teachers because he’s the head boy if he’s school, now my son is done with high school, i haven’t been myself cos am scared of what would have happen if he goes to college, if he will be safe, am scared they might beat him up, scared of everything. Did I mention, when am trying to remove my own cloth if I try to struggle abit maybe buttons got stuck or something, my heart beats am rushing to take off my cloth cos I feel I might just choke and die..
Help I wasn’t always like this.. everything started when my previous help kidnapped my son when he was just 3yr old. Since then it’s been crazy for me. And the funny thing is no one would believe me, friends don’t even believe me because am the life of the party, everyone likes it when am around, it’s never a dull moment when K is around.
2weeks ago, I called a friend, I said hey i need to talk to you, am depressed, I find it hard to breath sometimes and the person to me, pls k stop all this joke abeg don’t disturb me, and the friend said are you broke? Are you trying to ask me for money because me I don’t have money ooo, and that was it. I just wanted to talk, if I start writing it won’t end, y’all would be tired of me lol.. but pls I need help