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Juice Wrld, in his song with Halsey, said something I've always related to. He said, "sometimes, Life's a mess", and it sure is. I don't mean to sound like a victim, but I feel like I always get the bad side of life. Nothing works out the way I hope it would, so I get scared of planning anything. If I get too excited about anything, something comes along and ruins it. It has made me so negative and distrustful of any positivity around me. But I hide it so well, that no one ever knows what im thinking inside. No one knows the chaos and struggles in my head. I want to be happy and free, but I can't help it. Not with my track record.