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For some years now I have been battling with negative feelings. Am the fourth born from my family, we are five boys. My dad is late since 2017. Things have been really rough for my family. Sometimes I feel like taking my life. I see my dad as the cause of my problem in life. I can't say if I had a dad. He lost his work and remained home for many years refusing to do any other work. I managed to finish secondary school. After my secondary school I had been the one taking care of my family to till my dad died. He had some money when he was alive but stopped me from going to the university. I had to talk to other people to talk to him but he refused. So when he lost his job I became the one feeding him till he died.. none of his other sons assisted me I shouldered all the responsibility. Feeding, paying the house rent and other things. I got feed up and it affect me from reaching where I was supposed to be in life. Presently am married but I married the wrong woman. She has been a torn in my flesh. Don't want to be saying .any things she is doing here. But everyday I struggle with negative feelings and many times I have contemplated taking my life to rest.. the only thing keeping me alive is my children because they will suffer when am gone.. I really need help I have many things to say but I can't continue typing here my heart is in pains.. someday I might take my life. Thank you..