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I started dating my ex boyfriend in 2020 during the lockdown. It was a nice relationship he came off really nice but as time went on things changed. I wanted to breakup but he asked me to forgive then broke up with me 2 months later and we were 1 year in the relationship. He was my first kiss and the first man to ever hold me like a woman. We didn't have sex although he wanted to but I said no. When he broke up with me I felt broken and angry because I loved and was willing to make the relationship work but when it was uncomfortable for him, he left. After the breakup he suggested that we became friends. I was ok with it because I loved him and I couldn't stay mad at him. So I was ok with it. But he would kiss many times and still say he didn't want a relationship with me because there's so much on his mind. But yet he still wants to be with me sexually. I don't really mean thidbut the Lord please forgive me when I say that I hate him. For causing me such hurt and he keeps doing it over and over. I hate him but I still love him. I want to forget about him. But I can't. I would give anything to move on but I don't know how to. Please help me.