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Hi, my first boyfriend practically ruined me, he got in another relationship when we became a year, i found out after our 3 years anniversary. I ended it and ever since, i couldn't bring myself to trust anyone. I just can't. I couldnt be with just one man, I've been cheating. Going in and out of several relationships. It's crazy. Just a year ago I met a guy and I fell in love with him, i loved him with my all and he reciprocated but my insecurities just keeps kicking in and every now and then I cheat. He found out the first time, i apologized and he forgave me, but now he found out I had sex with another guy. He's very upset, broken and sad but then he only shows that to me. Everyone else thinks he's just fine but he's not. I want to stop cheating, i want him to forgive me, i want him to believe that I love because I really do. He hates me. He doesn't even want to see me. I don't have a reason for cheating. Am really sorry and I want to be a better person. I really hope he'll forgive me. I'll stick with him alone. But I don't see that happening I don't know if you can help because am having a lot of crazy thoughts, i even feel like injuring or even killing myself. I can bear to be apart from him. I really love him Funny thing is if I still see my ex with someone else I get really, really angry. I don't know what to do Help