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Hi, my first boyfriend practically ruined me, he g

Hi, my first boyfriend practically ruined me, he got in another relationship when we became a year, i found out after our 3 years anniversary. I ended it and ever since, i couldn’t bring myself to trust anyone. I just can’t. I couldnt be with just one man, I’ve been cheating. Going in and out of several relationships. It’s crazy. Just a year ago I met a guy and I fell in love with him, i loved him with my all and he reciprocated but my insecurities just keeps kicking in and every now and then I cheat. He found out the first time, i apologized and he forgave me, but now he found out I had sex with another guy. He’s very upset, broken and sad but then he only shows that to me. Everyone else thinks he’s just fine but he’s not. I want to stop cheating, i want him to forgive me, i want him to believe that I love because I really do. He hates me. He doesn’t even want to see me. I don’t have a reason for cheating. Am really sorry and I want to be a better person. I really hope he’ll forgive me. I’ll stick with him alone. But I don’t see that happening
I don’t know if you can help because am having a lot of crazy thoughts, i even feel like injuring or even killing myself. I can bear to be apart from him. I really love him

Funny thing is if I still see my ex with someone else I get really, really angry.
I don’t know what to do
Help

3 thoughts on “Hi, my first boyfriend practically ruined me, he g”

  1. Hello.i think the first stage to healing is to forgive your ex and move on.putting blame on what has happened in the past might just be the reason why your still cheating.
    So imagine if your resent boyfriend makes the same excuse and start cheating with other girls,then there will be a real problem

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