I am 25years old and my boyfriend is 29 we share same birth month just a week apart. My boyfriend is a brother to two of my church sisters and friends, they are older than my boyfriend, when I was 20 and he about 24 he picked my number from his sister’s phone and called me then I didn’t know who called cause I don’t have interactions with him and only met him at their house ones or twice. So while at their house with his sisters and some of other friends church members I began to tell the story of how someone called and his voice was like this and all and am sure they knew it was him but they just said they have someone that bears that name but they don’t think his the one. To cut the story short he called again visit my house and before the relationship started officially he asked “what can I do that you will never forgive and I told him it’s if I found out he’s dating other women cause that’s what broke my previous relationships. And the relationship started officially we clicked so fast and everything was going smoothly, not up to a month after I went to visit him after Sunday lecture and I was waiting for him and they brought the light, plugged his phone cause it was dead and I couldn’t call but knew where they keep their keys, I picked it and opened the door and I found out there’s this particular lady he chats with romantically I began unhappy feeling betrayed that this guy never told me he was in a relationship cause I asked, left angrily crying and all. Then he called later and when I asked him about it, he said they were just friends and he’s used to talking with his female friends that way and that he loved me. I later found out he has bunch of other women he flirts with on Facebook and WhatsApp which I made him understand it’s not right and it hurts me, after much conversation fights and ups and downs he actually stopped the flirting but never stopped talking to this particular girl, doesn’t talk to her in my presence and it’s always a secret friendship which I kept complaining about we had ups and downs, he fell sick I was bitterd I lost trust for him at a point the girl started patronizing his sister’s goods coming to pick up at home which I warned him against but never listened to cut story short she started visiting their homes more often and his family prefered
Anonymous
Continuation: to cut story short she started visiting their homes more often and his family preferred the girl over me their relationship turned not to be secretive again to his family, while I all these were going on my mom was against him cause a family member was spilling rubbish about them and I stood my ground that they were good people but that same family member spilled rubbish about my family to their parents and to my supprise his sister’s (my friends) were against me and a friend that was in the gathering where they were saying it told me some of things that happened, the other girl was there too. At the long run he later said he broke things off with The girl but this girl keep posting pictures of him and both of them together on social media and my boyfriend was telling me to block her but I couldn’t cause that is not what will solve the problem, rather all I needed was a strong assurance from my guy and his family that am the one he wants in his life but none was there. I got an apartment so we can be more closer since he can’t come to my sister’s house and he’s not always at home but if my boyfriend comes one just know have been nagging for a week or two. There is this program that is done every one’s a year I spoke to my guy the night if that program and he never told me he was going but to my surprise the next morning I saw an imperfect picture of both him and the girl at the program holding hands, I called and he didn’t pick I knew he would be sleeping since it was a vigil and when he woke up I didn’t say anything I was just moody as I have been before then cause I have been telling him to find time to be with me am tired if forcing him. When he came in the night I asked him how was the program and he responded it was fine and I asked why he never told me he was going and he said he went with some friends and they met the girl at the event, they got pass through her and that’s why he was sitting beside her but I never see any guy beside him. My friend came around during the discussion and I told her to talk to him cause am tired of saying same thing over and over again and he said he is ending the relationship and nothing will change his mind that he wants freedom and that the relationship is choking for him he doesn’t wants to date anyone for now and am heartbroken cause I loved him so much and I feel I could have handled the situations better but I always allowed my emotions take a toll on me.
Ps. I grew up without love and I tends to find love in my relationship with people even friends and coworker, I feel hurt when things happens.
I wanted to be there for him build a good relationship now before marriage but he’s always running a way from me.
I usually check his phone to see what he’s up to ones a while so I can know my place in his life since an not sure any longer and he claims that’s why he doesn’t come around even when it’s obvious not everytime I do that and I expected he shouldn’t do things that will make him keep his phone away cause this relationship started with both our finger print on each other’s phone.
Please advice I had up to 5 abortion for him in the space of 3to4 years none this year and I think last year cause we stared using protection and we are not intimate most times
Anonymous
Sweetheart, it’s really hard to read through your post and not feel sorry for you.
I cannot understand why you allowed your boyfriend to mistake you for a footmat for such a long time.
He succeeded in toying with your emotions and even your life that you could risk several abortions just to keep a man. Please, wake up.
Sorry you didn’t receive love and attention when you were younger but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love yourself.
It seems that your boyfriend is already out of the relationship and you’re holding on to what is not existing.
His family do not even like you and you’re hanging in . !!!
I guess the only advice you need is to ask yourself if he’s the last man in the world.
Girl, why don’t you plan for better things that will move you towards fulfillment of purpose in life.
Life is waiting for you.
Anonymous
Thank you so much for your response, I really need help to come out of this situation my whole life is a mess, this relationship affected my schooling, I started I couldn’t keep up cause I had so many carry overs and I don’t know how to start afresh.
I need help