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I don't know if my boyfriend is the one for me am deeply trouble that I should breakup yet I have no peace that I shouldn't We've been dating for 4 years now the problem started 3 years ago where he always hurt me emotionally and made me had low self esteem I really fear him then that I couldn't talk but yet I still loved him unconditionally then he gave me no attention, he has anger issues, he always made me feel low of myself, I actually thought it's was one sided but I kept pushing the relationship, he gave me no money which didn't mattered to me in as much as I am in love with him, I cheated on him 2 years ago cause I was lacking attention of which I deeply regret till today he caught me but still forgave me since then he changed to be this caring loving partner but I no longer find joy in our relationship and I still love him there this work I was doing he was so against it I told him I stopped but I actually didn't. We've never separated since we started dating despite all odds but I desired to breakup he kept begging me to forgive him of the past where he treated me better that I should give him a chance to do better for our relationship. I know he is now trying he is better than he was but I don't understand why I aren't happy anymore I have no genuine joy anymore but I love this soul sooo much and he loves me too and am so scared of losing him that I might not see someone who will love me again .