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This should naturally be under the drugs and alcoh

This should naturally be under the drugs and alcohol category, but I have full control of my thoughts and actions so I had to post this here.

In 2019, during the Corona virus lockdown in Lagos, I was “trapped” in rehab at Yaba Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital aka Yaba Left. I was there for strong cannabis abuse, and the abuse of other psycho-active drugs, including codeine and trams (tramadol). Being at Yaba Left alone was depressing at that time because there was little to do or engage in and all I did was sleep, eat, take drugs and repeat. Now, thanks to our protests, there are videos games, a basketball court and other things/activities to indulge in.

After leaving Yaba Left, I got married — this would make the beginning of the cause of my true depression.

I have a lot to say, but I believe no one is listening or no one would care to hear my story. The fact that most Nigerian women think men should bottle up emotions is beyond me. Wheb my wife and I were still dating, I paid less attention to her and she wanted more of me and wanted me to listen to her more. I gave her more attention and now she wants me to go back to the old “me”.

I have endured domestic violence many times from my wife, as she has slapped me and inflicted pain multiple times. I only hit her back when U felt I was in great danger and tried to protect myself. I was brought up never to beat women.

I believe, if I had a gun, I’d be long gone, dead and rotting in some graveyard but I’m here, left to pass through this excruciating pain. I have been living with a narcissist and the only way out is suicide.

I’m not comitting a crime, as no one owns my life… Not even the government. So I can take what was give to me at any give time. I would love to live and experience life in a different way but i feel trapped right now.

I don’t really believe in God or hell or all of that bs as I’m an atheist and believe instead in core principles. I’d rather give a homeless guy my money before I donate or give offering to some church run by greedy humans.

I am smart, a tech bro that grew up around computers and invested in Bitcoin way back around 2016. I guess I’m not so smart since a woman can frustrate me into wanting to take my life. She is not the only reason why I feel this way, but I’ve lost my “brother” (my friends brother) and my ex girlfriend which led me to feeling very depressed and resorting to drugs as a coping mechanism. This is my suicide note, I wish I didn’t have to do this, because of my mother. I love her and would give my life for her. I hope she can overcome this.

Goodbye wicked world, 😥.

2 thoughts on “This should naturally be under the drugs and alcoh”

  1. Hold on,there is actually more to life if you can actually reason differently,you can use your experience for the betterment of the society at large,please give your thoughts one more day.

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