I feel like everything is wrong with me. I have social anxiety and depression, I suffer from serious suicidal and intrusive thoughts, I’m a pushover and people pleaser and no one seems to care about me. I’m doing a course that I hate and I already have a carryover in it. I haven’t told my parents yet because they’re going to be highly disappointed in me. I’m turning 21 in March and I have no idea where I’m headed in life. People mock me and see me as a stupid and naive girl but they don’t know I suffer from this cursed anxiety disorder that just can’t let me live a normal life! I cry myself to sleep almost every night and I’m lonely. I don’t have much friends and I don’t think I’ll ever find someone that understands me. Honestly…I don’t belong in this world. I don’t even know how to help myself. I’m living a shameful life. I’m supposed to be better than this.
Anonymous
Hi, I realize that life gets hard and most times difficult. In most cases, we do not get to choose the family that we are born into and so we just have to settle with the parents that we have and hope that they will somehow understand us as time goes by.
However, if we wait for a chance to happen we really might not get anywhere and so we are drawn into this deep rabbit hole of depression, social anxiety, and a lot of suicidal thoughts that actually defeat us and makes us feel small and insignificant.
Also, when we try to make friends it becomes tough to actually build solid relationships because we expect people to like us immediately and so we people-please in the hopes that they will be attracted to us, in some shape or form. This is a risky road to take.
The course you are doing may not be your choice so you tend to lack the zeal to excel at it and that is totally understandable. However, no matter how you try to push it away, you just have to power on through and see life through a clear mirror and really figure out what exactly you truly want to do for the rest of your life.
True Happiness comes from living life with the intention of focusing on the best part of real love and joy.
I will tell you for free that you are not stupid, neither are you naive but you are wonderfully and fearfully made and so you should embrace.
As you turn 21 in March, remember that you should be grateful that you have lived 21 full years on earth and despite your anxiety, God kept you alive and so you still have a purpose to fulfill on earth.
Your real friends will show up as soon as you start learning how to really enjoy your life.
So chin up and start loving yourself and let the healing process truly begin.
I am available to talk further and you can book an appointment with me here.
https://counselling.truthshare.com.ng/counsellors/Charles-Ituah-19
Take care and enjoy your life to the fullest.