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I'm in love with an ex, we started dating as teenagers and it lasted 5 years. I broke up with him because I couldn't trust him, I had reasons not to. When we broke up I honestly expected him to resist but he all but went on with it. Although he said he did so because he thought I deserved better. We have been apart for almost 5 years now yet I can't seem to get him off my mind. He talks to me when he wants to, other times he just ignores me. I have asked why he does that and he said it's not intentional. There have been times I honestly thought I was over him and didn't even think about him, but after a while, the longing for him starts again. It's like a never ending cycle. The sad part is, I'm in a relationship, my partner knows I'm in love with another yet he says he loves me and I know he does. I feel very bad for him and wish I could feel something stronger for him. There are logical reasons why I should get over my ex and I've told myself numerous times yet it's like my mind is coming up with reasons why my ex loves me too. We are in different countries too. I had an idea that if I see this ex then maybe I'd be able to move on. A bit of closure I think. But I don't have the means to. It is all very confusing. Not being able to talk to anyone makes it even worse.