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i always believe that life has taken more from me than he has giving, first my health, then the thing that made me a man, and now is fighting for my legs. i use to be strong, lively, lovely, positive, and a friendly person. despite the fact that life defeated me in the battle of genotype and my manhood, but i lost all that feature when he drag me again to the battle field for my legs. i have been battling osteonecrosis also known as avascular necrosis (AVN) for the past three years now, i see myself drifting into a dark shadow when i knew i was losing the battle to AVN because all the doors i knock for help were shut against me. friends disappear, family members start seeing me as a walking coups, i became a liability to myself, i cry every night and day and i am miserable and frustrated, every atom of being positive in me is empty and the only option i consider now is suicided. i am just waiting for my birthday to end it all. thanks to life, he won.