I started cheating on my husband, he then devorced me. 7 years later we got married again without any counciling. Now he cheated with our worker and he wants me to understand why he cheated yet I don’t see a reason why he did so. We have a son through IVF and he says he wanted to try with her hence their thing ended up being an affair. He’s so defensive he doesn’t wanna see or acknowledge what he did broke my heart, all he want is for me to understand that he wanted to expand our family. How possible is that without talking to me about it and just go ahead. Then I found out but still he tells me how to feel or how to react. I think he is suffering from rejection and very obsessed of having more kids, yet he has low sperm count and he can’t make a woman pregnant naturally. So hence I’m seeking help on how to deal with this situation. We are 31 years together. He can’t say I’m sorry, he can’t accept his wrongs instead he will want to justify his behavior. He lost it somehow. I Love him and I believe there is a chance to fix our marriage. But he needs someone professional to speak to him. No one gets through to him and I know I’ve noticed that he’s sinking. He’s stressed, depressed all in one. He Loves him mom and his sister with her children whom don’t appreciate him, but making his marriage suffer. My son has even noticed the hatred through my in-laws. His mom now is sick and we not getting a along, he is caught up in the middle of his mom and me. I really need a way to help him get out of this situation without judging him or end up making him choose between me and his mom.
You seem to be experiencing a really challenging and confusing circumstance in your marriage. Recognize that what your spouse did was wrong and vengeful. S it is only reasonable that you find it difficult to comprehend why he would cheat and have an affair with one of your employees.
It’s also necessary to remember that your husband might not be aware of or able to effectively express the underlying difficulties and feelings that underlie his behaviour because he might be acting out of spite and anger from your affair in the past. To resolve these problems and enhance communication between you, it would be beneficial for both of you to seek professional counselling.
With regards to the situation with your in-laws, it might be useful to establish boundaries. Finding a solution to the conflict and resentment without putting your husband in the middle or forcing him to choose between you and his family is essential as well.
The decision regarding how to resolve this issue and save your marriage ultimately depends on both of you. It may take some time, work, and patience, but it is possible to get through this trying time and move on as a team with the right help and support around.