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I feel numb. I can’t feel anymore. I’ve numbed my pain over the years that i have become resistant to pain. Growing up i was made to feel strong when going through a difficult situation. When i cut my hand or get an injury i try not to cry because my family members will call me weak and say “because of that small thing” I was made to prove myself to be strong which has grown with me. I end up dealing with my issues myself with no safe space to share cos i don’t want to be perceived as a weak. But I’m a woman, it is okay for me to be weak, right? Why is there a need for me to prove my strength when I could as well do that during childbirth; prove myself to others? Why does the perception of others about myself matter more than how i truly feel or see myself? I’m so numb i feel so weak. I have countless injuries but most times i don’t remember how i got them cos I didn’t feel them. I’m numb, physically, sexually, emotionally. I find it difficult connecting emotionally with my man because I find it hard to believe what he says, but his actions vindicate him tho, which gives me a sense of belief. How do i feel again?!