I feel numb. I can’t feel anymore. I’ve numbed my pain over the years that I have become resistant to pain.
Growing up i was made to feel strong when going through a difficult situation. When I cut my hand or get an injury i try not to cry because my family members will call me weak and say, “because of that small thing.”
I was made to prove myself to be strong which has grown with me. I end up dealing with my issues myself with no safe space to share cos i don’t want to be perceived as a weak.
But I’m a woman, it is okay for me to be weak, right? Why is there a need for me to prove my strength when I could as well do that during childbirth; prove myself to others? Why does the perception of others about myself matter more than how I truly feel or see me?
I’m so numb i feel so weak.
I have countless injuries but most times i don’t remember how I got them cos I didn’t feel them.
I’m numb, physically, sexually, emotionally.
I find it difficult connecting emotionally with my man because I find it hard to believe what he says, but his actions vindicate him though, which gives me a sense of belief.
How do I feel again?!
Truthshare
I’m so sad to hear that you have to deal with this. It’s necessary to keep in mind that it’s normal to experience moments of weakness and that being a woman does not require you to constantly prove your strength.
Your emotions and general wellbeing are important. Consider getting help from a therapist or counsellor who can guide you through these feelings and provide you ways to handle your emotions if you want to start feeling again.
Additionally, you need to be open and truthful with your partner about your struggles with emotional connection and trust. Having a good support system in place can significantly impact your recovery process.