Long Read…
So 6 years ago I met a man who completely swept me off my feet. He shared his visions and plans with me so I decided to build with him since his company at the time needed my expertise but couldn’t exactly afford it. Then we started dating.
We shared anything and everything, from ideas to love, to happy times and bad times too. we went everywhere together, my family couldn’t understand why I would volunteer to work for anyone for free. I just believed in him so much and all the promises he made; and we kept our relationship a secret around our office space. I have never been on a salary for 6 years now, i have been surviving on my side hustle and the small stipends he gives when he likes for my transport ( when I say small, I mean as small as 5k).
I just really wanted to build with him. We could talk about money later. I thought he was in love with me as much as I was in love with him.
After about 3 years of our relationship, I found out he had been cheating with a certain girl which of course confirmed my suspicions. I told him what I had found out and he apologized on his knees and we moved on; but i realized ever since this infidelity issue, he has been so different. He wastes no time to embarrass me in front of employees whether I am right or wrong. I am honestly tired.
He has now employed this girl to work with the team I used to lead. I say “used to” because he has employed someone else as team lead. His reasons are; “ I don’t want to bring in emotions into this thing”. When I was team lead, I handled several projects successfully. And when someone else was employed, he blamed me for everything that went wrong.
The company got a huge deal two months ago, but my boyfriend/boss hasn’t dimmed it fit to tell me about it.
He got himself three new cars and some properties. He still hasn’t shared the good news with me. It has been so embarrassing hearing it from other employees he shared with. Now he prefers to gift his manager some millions; same manager who stole twice from the company.
He was going to fire her then but I pleaded on her behalf. Up till this moment, she has no idea that I knew about it.
He only asked her to send me 50k for tp last month…50k after 6 years of my labour and love.
50k from a deal worth hundreds of millions in profit oh. I have not just been dumped but also sidelined. We both prayed and worked for this deal to come through.
I feel heartbroken and betrayed, I don’t have anyone to speak to. He shuts me off when I try to speak to him about how I feel.
I am shattered, 6 years of my life just like that. I want to quit but I don’t want us to be enemies. All I need is a honest advice I can get before I loose it.
If you were me, what would you do?
Truthshare
I’m sorry to hear about the challenges you’re facing. It seems like a complex situation. It might be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend/boss about your feelings and concerns. If communication proves difficult, consider seeking advice from a trusted friend or counselor to help you navigate this situation and make decisions that prioritize your well-being.
If he continues to show no appreciation you and you feel undervalued and mistreated, it might be worth reevaluating your priorities and whether staying in this situation is healthy for you.
Ultimately, it’s important to think of your own needs and decide what’s best for your personal growth, professional future and emotional well-being.
Opeyemi Olasumbo
I think you need to remind yourself every single day that you are useful, valuable, and more than important.
Yes he has made it but also yes, your journey doesn’t end with him. I would beg you to please start looking for work elsewhere, the experiences you’ve gathered under him would go a long way. I pray when love finally find you that it doesn’t make you doubtful of your value. Light!
Blessing
The favour in you that made that business work, is still inside of you.
Please move on, leave the company, ask for divine direction and start again. You will make it.
I would also encourage you to see a counsellor an unpack the pain you felt from that relationship.
Don’t be afraid to start again. Hugs!