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Ok so im going through a very hard phase for me, i feel lost, i have no idea what i want or what it would be better for me. Im 18, i had a boyfriend for 1 year and a half. At first, when we got together i didnt rlly wanted a serious rs, i thought that its gonna last like 1 month and thats it. We both were immature and acted like kids, he had a girl bsf who flirted w him all the time, sent him pictures and he still didnt saw anything wrong with their friendship. But he was so jealous, i liked to post pictures on instagram, selfies etc, where i look good, w my makeup on, with different outfits, and we always fight about that cus he was saying that i do this to catch other boys attention, and that i shouldnt do that when im in a rs. With time i understood that and i stopped posting pictures that much. We had a really beautiful rs when we werent fighting, we made homemade gifts for eachother, cooked together, go on dates.. we had really beautiful moments together, but when we were fighting…. he doesnt really knows how to control his anger or his words, so he always said bad things to me and after we stopped fighting he apologised and said that it was just the anger. Recently we broke up, cus one morning, i was sleeping and he took my phone, he saw a message from my boss who made a joke,like i postef on pic on instagram and he send me sum like “what boobs you have on instagram,in reality where do you hide them?” but then he said he s sorry and i didnt say anuthing i was like its okay. he likes to make jokes, but i never had problems w him like being a pervert or something. anyways, after my bf saw that he broke up with me. and in the same night he started talking w 20 girls. i was mad, but at the same time i felt good and at peace, cus i thought that maybe its the best thing for us to break up. three days after the beeakup, he sent me messages daily saying me what a bitch i am and that im the worst. and after that he came to my house to say that he is sorry and that we should get back together. i said no. we were separated 1 month, i felt good this month i can say, like i went out with other poeple, i talked with other people, i didnt cry or something. i felt bad only when i say pictures with him and other girls. the thing is, i feel like im young and i wanna live my life, i wanna talk with people, experience new things, meet new people. he said that he cant be with other girl cus he is feeling that im the only one for him, but i dont have this feeling, i mean i love him and he is the nicest person, but i know that there are other boys. he wants to get back together, but i dont know what i want.