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I'm just tired and burnt out from life, I've always had the thought of dying since I was 16, I thought I would get over it, maybe it was just the devil, I've prayed and prayed to God, and right now, I have no ounce of hope in me, I can't kill myself, I'm a devoted Christian, but I just feel like I'm on autopilot, just existing, I deal with a lot of emotions, but my anxiety, sadness, regret and envy are more constant. My parents don't believe in therapy or anything mental health-related, so now, I'm just passing by days.