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why is your relationship struggling Jennie? What's been going on?

a lot has been happening. marriage is draining

I’m married to a man who treats me according to how his family says he should treat me. unknowingly to me they have been the cause of all the stress n problems that has beem

been goin on in my marriage. I’m so drained becos I’m not enjoying my marriage and i never have. now my husband is very sick and can’t even walk anymore 😭😭

even with the present situation on ground the hatred around me is just too much. the sibblings hate me cos I refused we don’t have kids yet and I’ve refused to be their toy. in fact so many tins I can’t even type

I understand how tiring all this has been and I am sorry you are experiencing such overwhelming situations in your marriage. How have you been dealing with these frustrating situations? Do you have a particular reason for why you don't want to have kids is your husband aware?

I want kids more than anyone but it’s not coming mayb because we are in a distance marriage. we don’t see always. at first, for the first four years he always came home to see me just once in a tear

#year. we went to see a gynae who confirmed im okay n he’s okay as well but said we should try and stay together as a couple

ooh, that's true. You need to be together in other to make that happen. So, how have you been dealing with this frustrating situation from his family?

Do you have someone you can talk to, like a close friend or family member?

I have just been managing. crying myself to sleep, I will complain to my husband he will ignore telling me Dey love me. now he’s sick Dey stil hate me. no one even called me to encourage me. nothing. I have just been coping but I’m seriously frustrated

I’ve talked wit my parents and even his uncle. my parents are telling me to take a break. one time we had issues, his brother introduced him to a new girl, saying I’m not a good wife. in fact a lot is going on. since I got married to him I have never enjoyed him. just stress upon stress at the age of 28

I truly understand how daunting this whole thing must be for you. have you considered speaking with a therapist? you know you deserve to be loved and treated with respect?

he married me n planned leaving me in Nigeria n was coming home once a year to see me. I was almost depressed cos I was alone. for 11 months I don’t see my husband till December he will come home to try for baby. I just got tired bcos dat was not what he promised me. he did that for four years. i wasn’t working. I told him i wanted to do business cos i just finished nysc d year we got married. he said he doesn’t want business dat his sister advised him to tell me to try shoprite. I felt really bad. shoprite???? me a graduate?? I told him his family really looks down on me n how will he even think of such for me?

his sibblings told him to let me work in shoprite that how can he open a business for a gal who doesn’t have a kid yet. thatvim young and can leave him anytime. he shouldn’t even get me a car I should be trekking 😭😭😭 till I get pregnant

Also, if you have tried to communicate with his family and they still cannot respect you then how about you consider putting a boundary between you and them, in terms of the kind of words they say to you or how they act? you can tell them how their words and actions affect you. Don't you think it would help keep you sane as they would know there are limits to what you can take?

and also he should leave me in Nigeria. I was stressed. so I had to look for a job in a pry Sch. but I hated the job bt just had to do it cos he wasn’t giving me good money to take care of myself. and my husband listened

yes I know I deserve to be loved. that’s y I have been bearing everything to see if he will change. his family tells him what to do and he acts accordingly. I have booked a session with a therapist. cos I’m confused about the whole situation. I have told his uncle on the issue of his siblings been mean to me. he pleaded with me to ignore them and everything will fall in place

"yes I know I deserve to be loved that's y l have been bearing everything to see if he will change. his family tells him what to do and he acts accordingly. I have booked a session with a therapist. cos I'm confused about the whole situation. I have told his uncle on the issue of his siblings been mean to me. he pleaded with me to ignore them and everything will fall in place"

It's good that you are taking steps to care for your mental well-being and also finding ways to manage the situation. if they continue to treat you bad and you come to a conclusion that you can not deal with it anymore then you may want to consider other options on how to go about it or take a break from the whole situation.

It's unfair and sad that your husband runs the marriage based off of other people's opinion. Remember to put yourself first, if you are not doing well mental or physical you won't be able to care for another person.

thank you so much. yes I know my mental health comes first. right now I’m just trying my best to care for him now he has stroke n can’t walk. this is the best I can do. it’s really a tiring situation

anytime Jennie. Continue doing your best to care for him but also remember to take care of yourself. Hopefully, he recovers soon 🫂