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My own father said if I want to die, I should die I'm not the first person to die My dad disrespected my mom, I defended her and she called me stupid and disrespectful My own father said I am Satan My mother said I am a witch My parents fight everyday since I was born and use me to settle If I speak up, they lay curses on me and call me child of disobedience. I don't know what it feels like to have somebody by your side, because I don't have a sibling, I hardly trust and I'm too traumatized to be able to keep friends. I've been on my own all my life, very unhappy and my father said, it is my fault that I am unhappy, they say I speak too much for my age but are not brothered about how I grew up so fast and why I'm so angry at my age. I am blamed for everything...my parents even mock me and say I cannot become anything in life and if I be, it will be because of them. I go through so much mentally and emotionally and I have nobody to talk to or even give me a hug. Each time I cry they say I'm crazy and I'm letting the devil use me. I'm very tired, I'm very tired!!! I need help... please. Yes I may have been disrespectful when pointing out what they do that is wrong. But they know I'm saying the truth, I hear them gossiping about how I'm saying the truth but yet they refuse to change because they cannot do what I ask them. I am too small for them to listen to me and if I want them to change I should come and beg them. I notice the smile on my father's face each time I'm crying, he's happy that he has been able to damage me. And it's painful because I love and have to been trying to love them even more. Growing up my father would sit me down and tell me bad things about my mother and even ask me to say them her, that was when this whole habit of shouting at my parents started...I hated my mother when I was young because of the things he told me and now I'm older, I see the things he does and is doing and they're not okay. And so I use the same approach he taught me for my mom to voice out my concern. Now, not just him but my mom says I'm a disrespectful child that would not see anything good in life. What pains me the most is that I am defending my mother but instead she supports him and says I should mind my business. I've always minded my business to be frank but they always come to me to report each other, when I say I don't want to listen, they say I must because I'm their child and when my reply is not what they expect, I'm very stupid and I should learn how to mind my business. I am ready to apologize for being disrespectful and I would change. But the fact remains that I have emotionally immature parents and so it will just be me dying in silence because they honestly don't care about what I go through. They think all I need is food and money with clothes. I've never received any form of emotional support from them, they don't even know me that well. They're not even at peace with each other. I'm in the midst of quarrels everyday. And somehow they expect me to ignore and be okay. I'm a human o...and I'm a child. They've exposed me to things bigger than my age and now when I say it, they say I'm too young to say all those things but since I was born, they're the ones who sat me down and said all those things to me. I stay in my room from morning till night to avoid them yet they'll come to my room to talk and when I react I'm a bad child... I need help o... I need help. Somebody or something should take me away from here I'm not scared of dying but I cannot kill myself... I've prayed. Infact, I pray everyday for peace yet it becomes worse. I'm so tired of all these.