Read Anonymous Stories

Good evening. How is everyone doing? This is my first time chatting here and I believe I need someone new to talk to. Honestly, I don't even know what to do. I am 23 yrs old, a female, a law graduate and presently waiting for law school. I have seen patterns in my life that I think needs to be corrected but it is like every time I try, I fail and end up with a bigger problem. So let me give you a back story of my life I am the first child of my family and thefirst grandchild from my paternal side I will say I grew up too fast for my age because even from age 4 I was saddled with responsibilites of taking care of my brother and being held accountable for him @6 i was already cooking for both of us. I didn't mention that I am a plus sized girl. Back to the story, I wasn't allowed to relate with other kids and maybe that drove me to keeping to myself, like I said I didn't really have anyone my age to play with, was exposed to adult life and all. From all I know I have been an extremely quiet child and rarely air my views My chubbiness started showing more AT AGE 9 GOING TO TEN. and that was when criticism started a lot, I forgot to mention, from about age 7/8/9 I was faced with about 3 sexual molestations and the funny part of all these is that I can remember clearly things that happened to me from age 4 upwards. I was able to fight back and luckily wasn't penetrated. My father is a medical doctor and as the only chubby child in the family, I got lots of criticism. I remember from age 13, I was subjected to 30mins walk everyday which I did. I am asthmatic,was born with brounchile asthma, was just placed on tablets from birth till around age 10, my crisis weren't funny but at age 13, it blew I started using inhalers, about 3 then. I remember meeting one of my dad's superior at work and he was like I am 70kg at my age and I am happy That statement alone drove me to depression Let me not forget to say, I have ulcer from not eating, so I wasn't binge eating or anything. I was still battling with asthma, it was discovered I had glaucoma at the same age and I had to operate both eyes. Let me say, I was still bed-wetting, infact I will say I haven't really stopped bed-wetting because some nights even at my age it still happens no matter the alarm I set no matter the waking up it happened really much then. Until 22 and still happens once in a while now, when I have some dreams I don't understand I will say I was depressed from that age 13, I am a bright kid at least above average but i started doing below average that even one of my teacher noticed and asked, I couldn't tell her so much so it was just it is okay, it is well, I was supposed to go to Sss1 at the age and automatically it was supposed to be science class(because he wanted it), so i went and oh boy the failure started, i wasn't doing well, did lessons and all and I will believe this is where my life started From the time I started getting bigger, I was tagged lazy, even my mother will call me lazy, no one understood, so when I started failing it became worse my father will talk down on me call me all sorts of names, he will insinuate that I am a bastard, the challenges I was facing wasn't getting ahead, every night I will bed wet my mother will flog me and all After my ss1 I was told to change school At first I failed my first entrance exam to the first school and eventually got 50% for the second one, so I got into the new school. Remember, I am still very quiet, I was so shy, afraid, I didn't matter at least to anyone, then what do you want to do with a fat girl, when my siblings make mistakes at home, I will find a solution so as to get into trouble and so there will be peace because my mother has tagged me as the trouble child who destroys her home's peace. You know the kind of person my father is, is that whenever we the children err, he puts the blame on my mother and all, so everyone was frustrated, no one saw my struggles at least I am the one who brings trouble, so to avoid trouble, I had to find solutions to things myself. Now the depression is more shown because I don't even smile but Instead of asking for the cause of it, I was told I am acting like i am carrying all the burden of the world. So I had this Nokia phone their you know it had access to Internet and I was able to create a Facebook account, I started speaking to people, guys most especially and all and it felt different as no one was criticizing me. Now at the new school I was in ss2 now, I didn't improve I got worse and the issues at home continued, I kept a diary and wrote my problems. I was subjected under 3 lessons apart from school work just to catch up but at this time, it didn't work I was frustrated and started thinking about how to commit suicide. It was also writing in the diary and I took it every where. So one day, I was looking for a classmates number and I checked the back of the diary and all of a sudden some snatched it from me. I looked up to find a boy in my class was the one who took the diary, I ran after him but couldn't catch up by the time I caught him, he was reading through then he handed it over, and said; "shebi I want to kill myself, he will get me rope" after that he started becoming closer, infact I just remembered, that I had almost killed myself twice and was saved, one I tied myself to the the fan of the room, my cousin came in to save me, second I wanted to slit my wrist, my siblings screamed for attention that my neighbor had to come, infact that day, this man insulted me, called me a baboon, a monkey, a bastard that I should die o, he will bury me and shed a tear. Omo, so the guy started getting closer and he is a funny person, so he made me see the light in me, eventually,he asked me to be his girlfriend, i was 15+ around this time but I felt was lucky to find someone who loved me with all my infirmites, omo this guy showed me pepper, he was basically my father that i never wanted but I was blind He hinted breakup at every issue I spent on this guy, will give him my lunch especially after his mom died the only amount he spent on me during the 3yrs 7 months we dated was 2500 I will buy him data and all Let's get to the interesting part of my life So I said I am a law graduate, and I am still a science student in this story So in the same ss2 3rd after I started dating this guy, the third term, I told my mom that even this science it wasn't what I wanted, and I was been punished for this, I was talked down ridiculed, abused and very low because of this thing I don't even want, I don't have the energy and strength to be a medical doctor So I said I wanted to change, my mom was like ah, I know the kind of father I have he won't allow it I should endure, I was like why did i even talk, I should have known this is what it will amount to. I don't know what punished her to tell my father, omo it became war o This man took me to another school to start ss1 science class from there again Those one did class test, and said i was a fit for art class.after all battles, talk and abuse he agreed And luckily for me, my school agreed I do one term in art class to determine if I will have to start ss1 again He said he will only employ a literature for me for a month and after that I should face it, my literature teacher was like I was made to be an art student. I passed my ss2 3rd term and was promoted not on trial but on merit and I did my waec and jamb once. I aced it Now, it was time to select my course, I wanted to do guidance and counseling but he came up again and said law or nothing.he selected my school and the course I sha got admission Now I attended Babcock University I didn't beg for it Even before I selected for jamb I called him 3 times for choice of school this man said put Babcock in all the 3 choices So tell me why he puts the blame on me that I am the one who caused him to be financially unstable because he sent me to a school I never begged for. From my 100lvl, I tried everything to be financially independent because I have always been made to feel like I am the cause of his problems I did all businesses through out university but none yielded Now, the secondary school bf broke up with me in my 3rd yr in school, omg with nothing but he realized he never loved me, I was so down casted I found it difficult to make friends so the only one person there, he blocked me every where. He tortured me I even dropped in my cgpa omo from 2.1 entered 2.2 Anyway I moved on but the thing drove me to prayer o, i prayed i needed to just let it go and luckily for me I was able to discover my potentials and what God was calling me into then started grooming women I have a group with over 200ladies grooming I counsel I talk about relationships And all these while I am a girl who attracts attention mostly from older men, I didn't go back into any relationship for about 2yrs. I will stop here for now PART 2 coming up shortly