Everything seems so hard Most times I feel like k

Everything seems so hard
Most times I feel like killing myself cause it seems like I’m carrying a load
Depression here and there
No one to share my feelings with cause no one will understand me
Parents are not even helping cause they can’t keeps secrets
Social media is making it worst for me cause I really want to be free like meet new friends have time for myself,be social but still my parents won’t allow me and they keep giving me irrelevant excuses….I’m 20 and I still can’t go out with my friends
I want to have good times with my friends that’s if I have any
It’s just like I’m in a cage or a dark room all alone and that’s what/how my life has been
The only thing my mum/parents care about is for me to stay at home and run errands for them
Even when I said I wanted to Learn and handwork they didn’t agree but now they keep blaming me
It’s just that I have no one to share my burdens with
A family who don’t care about their child they feel everything is fine
I get depressed almost 5times a day cause I’m not happy with the life I’m living
Probably if I just take my life I’ll be fine and I’ll be resting
No pain
No stress
No social media
No thinking
No worries