I don’t even know where to stay from from…all my

I don’t even know where to stay from from…all my life I was taught to be responsible for everyone and to make my mom proud which I took very seriously. I am from a broken home, my father vowed not to see me through school so à priest took me up and saw me through school along the line my dad came in a starting supporting me with little allowances because the priest was responsible for my schooling I dedicated my life to obeying him doing everything he wanted without realizing I forgot about me…my mom was constantly telling me about how I had to marry right, she was always reminding about marriage so In a bid to make her proud as always I got into a supposed relationship with a doc who took me for granted, abused and gaslighted me emotionally with me realizing until I was almost loosing my mind. I finally had the courage go walk away but I was damaged I had to leave home because it got too toxic I was having severe anxiety yet I was constantly being blamed for my problems…along the line I started to feel like I was loosing my mind, my mom reported me to my priest imagine me having to explain to a priest about my sexual escapes, I got judged which worsened my predicament. Fast forward to 4 months later I got into a new relationship but my mom is constantly against it, she hates when I make calls and if I hang out she won’t talk to me for weeks. Now I’m back to where I thought I left for good, always having anxieties and confused thoughts but I’m fighting to stay strong because if I break down I won’t get any support from my family and I’ll be blamed for my predicament. I planned on moving out but I’m so broke, I recently just got a job I have not even been paid…I saw this page and I felt relieved that I could finally talk to a therapist for free but I found out I had to pay the sum of 1500 and it’s shameful to say I can’t even afford it.