When do I start from,there is alot on my mind and

When do I start from,there is alot on my mind and am really depressed, the worst part of it is that I had no option but to result to this because I have no one to talk to.
Anyways,let me get straight to the point, I feel like my life is in a mess right now and I need serious counseling, am from a family of four,my dad, my mom, myself and my younger sister, this year has been a little messed for my family when we found out a bitter truth about my dad, it caused alot to change and my mom doesn’t really have close friends because the one closest friend she decided to have stabbed her at the back so my mom is the type that will say I don’t have friends neither do I have enemies, so when the incident happened, I became her confidant but it was also pressure for me cause I had to keep all to myself and pretend as if nothing was wrong. Last year, my mom signed me up for tailoring because I wanted it but this year I don’t know if I became or maybe I kind of losed interest in tailoring and my mom has high hopes from me and I really don’t what to disappoint her but is like sometimes am a failure to myself and everyone around, even in my studies, I didn’t do well either, am trying to balance things up now and to correct my mistakes, am back to tailoring not to disappoint my mom and am trying to study very hard but now that I am trying is like she lost all hope in me, I get insulted everyday and it is like am the worst child a mother could ever has for, I never meant to hurt her and am trying to making it up to her but she is not seeing my efforts any longer, I understand her sha, she has done so much for me and my younger sister and she is even tolerating our father for us, she has done so much, she is even the bread winner of the family but am not just good enough again, she doesn’t even share her feelings with me anymore, I guess is because she has found a perfect daughter in my younger sister, I know she is better than and she even knows how to set her priorities unlike which seem like a disaster, I can’t organize my own life talk less of satisfying my own mother, I don’t even know what I want for myself and my future, bad right? I know
But another problem is that my younger sister is taking advantage of all this to create misunderstandings between me and my mom since she is the perfect girl with no flaws, she keeps reminding me that am the worst and act perfect in front of my parents, is like she has taken all the love of my parents to herself and that my mom now hate, am afraid this will turn worst than it is.
The funniest part of it all is that I never really liked my father coz growing up he is always defending my sister, am always the bad one who is always at fault, is only my mom that does fair hearing, and moreover, I always feel that my dad is bad which he turned out to be, the worst part is that after the whole incident, he received less attention from his family and me now that seem depressed, we then became a little than before, we started better and we both hated each other before, life is really funny, he is like the only that really talks to me without arguing and misjudging me, weird right? I know.
This is a short summary of what am facing now, I need your advice