I’m tired of pretending 😭, no one hurts me like m

I’m tired of pretending 😭, no one hurts me like my parents, I tried being the bigger person for far to long but now I’m done. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from some the things they’ve said to me, then expect me to play happy family in front of our relatives 💔. I sometimes feel like I’ll have peace in the day I find out that my dad I no more😭😭😭, that man has hurt me in the worst way possible. My heart is bleeding because of him, I pray that God gives me strength to move on