I feel so depressed and lonely. I do all I can to

I feel so depressed and lonely. I do all I can to be there for my husband. We don’t stay in the same state for ends to meet. Thou his hussle does not foot the bills due to challenges I do all I can not to complain but rather encourage,manage whatever token he sends and make up the rest. I don’t indulge in extra marital affires but my husband constantly accuses me,goes through my phone,chats,mails etc anytime he comes around maybe hoping to get something on me. I barely have friends anymore as I try to avoid unnecessary confrontations and verbal abuse.
He won’t take me out,hes not always around yet he hangs out with friends and claims they are clients. I’ve come across intimate chats with other women on his phone before but he denies that it was nothing. Worst of all is he totally ignores me and leaves me sad and lonely for longer strechs whenever we have disagreements.
Marriage is deep…. I’m so tired. All I wanted was someone I could call a friend whose words match their actions. Yes, no one or marriage or situation is perfect but if you have partner who truly cares about you and your emotions the journey would be worth while. Situation surrounding is depressing enough,a partner should help you get through it not push you to suicide.