Hy I’m going through a breakup, I’ve been dating my ex for 2 years and it’s been fine, we’ve had our usual ups and downs but things started going downhill a little but I always thought we’d be fine then he ghosted me for 3 weeks, I’m an overthinker and it was hell for me, I kept calling, sending texts and got no response then he came back saying he was sorry and that he was going through stuff and that he wasn’t happy that he’s not anywhere near his goals, I kept telling him he didn’t have to lose me to achieve those dreams cause to be honest I’ve only supported him, so I felt bad that he was leaving me now for the same dreams. I feel ashamed because I accepted him back almost immediately then one day, I just had the flash backs from the hurt and said I couldn’t really forget what he did , I sent messages saying this. He then called and broke up with me saying he doesn’t have enough love for us both after telling me he loved me so much few days before, I didn’t take it well, I first told him to leave me alone then I kept sending needy texts and then he said he never fell out of love that he’d been thinking of me infact but he knew he wasn’t going to be available and I wouldn’t take it, I was wondering how because we told ourselves we’d never ever leave eachother and we’d keep trying, I kept texting and texting (there were lots of arguments and him downplaying my emotions, saying I keep bringing up the ghosting thing and the breakup) before I finally left him alone, he called and said he was sorry , I took him back again then he said he really wants to do better I was happy, we got back but I was still insecure each time he didn’t text cause I felt he was probably forcing himself to stay with me, o couldn’t actually get over the fact that he broke things with me and if I didn’t call, he’d never have reached out. So I kept complaining little by little, I just wanted him to reassure me that he wasn’t going to hurt me like that again but he saw it as me guilt tripping him which broke my heart. Then I complained the last time saying I don’t feel enough energy from him for someone who’s trying to get a girl he hurt back, I told him it didn’t feel like he was trying and that he was doing the bare minimum he replied disrespectfully and said he doesn’t have time for such bullshit and that I should leave him the fuck alone. I was hurting, then I was hoping he’d text and say he was sorry for 3 weeks, I got nothing then I texted saying I knew I played a role too by being impatient and insecure because I was hurt but that it’s clear he doesn’t value me, I told him I was letting him go and told him bye, he replied with “bye my name”. I feel confused that maybe I destroyed everything with my impatience.
