Hello everyone Am married for 5yrs and my husband

Hello.

I am so sorry for this. I believe you’ve been trying to help your husband but it seems like your efforts are in vain. I’m sorry once again.

From what you typed, it seems like your husband has been masturbating and watching pornography for over 5 years now. And to me, that seems like an addiction already.

And honestly, you can’t break free from an addiction easily. It takes a lot of support from family or friends and a lot of determination and perseverance to come out of it.

Plus, one thing you should know is that the fact that your husband says he’s not going back to it doesn’t mean he won’t be compelled to do it. In fact, he may do it, probably after a few days of not watching porn or masturbating. However, if he goes back to it, you shouldn’t be angry.

I mean celebrate the few days he didn’t watch or masturbate. Tell him how you are so proud of the days he didn’t. And the day he does? Show your support. Empathise with him. Tell him you know it’s not easy, and that you know he’s doing his best. Ask him how you can help. Don’t help him however you think you can. Ask him how he thinks or believes you can help him. Make him know that you are there for him.

Moreover, ensure he’s not alone most times. Thing is, we entertain these thoughts when we are alone, bored or idle.

It’s not gonna be easy for both of you. Getting over an addiction may take months or years. Please, show your support. And most importantly, try to introduce a new habit for him.

An addiction can be gotten over when another is introduced. So, what does he like doing? Does he like reading? Buy him books. His favourite genre. This will help when he’s bored or idle.

Again, this is not gonna be easy, but with patience and persistence, you will scale through. Your husband will get over it even if today he says, “I’m done”, and tomorrow you see him watching it.

It’s gonna take time but your patience and support will pay off eventually.

Do take care of yourself and mental health.