I’m 29yrs old female…I started hustling for money immediately I finished secondary school education then I was 18yrs.I pushed further to continue my Education but I was declined admission for 5yrs. I later got a part-time form where I did my OND for 3yrs while i was working just to get money to sponsor myself at school.
After my ND, I became so focused to getting a life partner after so many disappointment not until I met a man who claimed he loved me.
I loved him to the extent of assisting him financially even the fact he never took me out on a date,assist me or even appreciate me. I did all the things he was supposed to do to me as a man. He only made promises he was going to repay me in due time.According to him,he was working on a building and other businesses which when he succeeds he won’t waste time to get married to me. I believed all he said.
After three months of dating each other,He requested seeing my parents, which I was so glad and even brought drinks to see them.
While we were still looking forward to do our introduction, I noticed he cheats,hides a lot of things from me,insults me and made me look I was always the one at fault. I was always apologising just to bring peace.I thought that would make us know each other more and strengthen our love but to my greatest surprise I was wrong.
He never spent any dime on me not even recharge card,transport back home or even to feed. I was only believing in his future.
April 1,2022,he said he was travelling for business that he would be back in 2weeks but I knew he was lying but I agreed he should go since it was business.
He got there without calling only chats not even video calls,giving me excuses that he’s tired and all. I became tired and had to reach his only sister who gave me an advise to move on that her brother is not a saint.
I decided to play him by telling home a lady called and said I should leave him for her. He got angry after then and insulted me through chats and said if I should ever chat or call him,He would pray for death to me and blocked me on WhatsApp,Facebook etc.
I called the father immediately,who asked me to come see him after a day,I went and the family apologised and said that is his character that I will have to be patient.
While I was about leaving the fathers house, he came him to visit,that was when I knew He lied to me he traveled even the family knew he lied.
It is 2weeks now he hasn’t called.
I am psychologically abused,I need help,what do I do? Its already affecting my job.I can’t do anything without thinking of him. Please help me!!!
Anonymous
Hello am so sorry for your situation it is obvious that the person in question is not interested in the relationship truth be told, so it is better you place your mind that this man is gone with that you will have little concerns.
Anonymous
Hello dear, I genuinely understand what you have been through and I know it is very difficult for you right now. One thing you have to understand is that none of it was your fault, you placed your trust in a person and genuinely believed he at least cared for you and he took advantage of your kindness and open heart. But all of that is over now, he’s gone and you should be grateful that because all a man like that would have done is held you back in life and you don’t need that.
You have to see everything that happened with him as a mistake, a period in your life you have to learn from and move on from. Your focus now should be how to move on.
And the only way to move on is to find the strength that is within you, you have been hustling from a young age, you have acheived a lot and you need to recognise your worth. You do not need a man who cannot be a positive presence in your life, you do not need this man because he has offered you nothing not even happiness, you have to forget him and focus on yourself.
Go on the internet read about building your self worth as a woman so no man can take advantage of you again, pray to God to give you strength and focus on building yourself at work, do your job very well, gain whatever skills and qualifications you need to move ahead in your job and focus.
And about marriage, honestly you need to know that you cannot find just any man and plan to make him your husband, if you do not know your own worth it would be easy for men to disappoint you, no matter how much you do for a man, if he doesn’t want to marry you, he won’t marry you. Don’t be desperate, build yourself, take care of yourself, look good, make money, and pray to God to give you a man who would fulfil your needs. And lastly pay attention, don’t tolerate less than you deserve just because you need a man, you need to know that that man, respects you and loves you and truly cares for you. No man is better than a man that would make your life miserable, a good man is worth waiting for.
I truly hope you find everything that would bring you happiness. Forget him, he would have been a terrible husband for you, God just helped you dodge a bullet you should be grateful, focus on your job and any side hustles and take care of yourself. I wish you the best.