My name is Okafor Johnstev .u
(www.truthshare.com.ng)
Married and Emotionally lonely?
Dating and Emotionally lonely?
Single and Emotionally lonely?
Feeling this unusual emotional loneliness> > Feeling depressed> > Isolating Oneself> > Suicidal thoughts/Divorce/Separation.
The above are some stages that most individual who is lonely in his or her marriage, relationship or social life passes through.
Being lonely is a normal thing but the unusual feeling of loneliness when you have someone that you believed should be a good reason not to feel lonely is not healthy,it is a sign that you are not happy, things are not the way it should be, something is wrong somewhere,no communication and connection or you are not with the right person or doing the right thing.
Have you been in a situation where you’re with your spouse, fiancee, family or loved ones and yet you are feeling lonely.
What of a situation where you are in a party,play ground or any social gathering with someone but yet you are feeling lonely.
There are also a situation where you are on the same bed with your spouse,no connection emotionally,you are not happy’ he or she may touch you and begin to have sex with you and you are responding or not but deep down you, something is wrong because you are not happy,you are lonely and you don’t know what is wrong with you,even when you try to explain” he or she may not understand you and you will feel abandoned or not healthy.
Somany persons are very busy at work but when they are at home,they start feeling lonely or unhappy and wish tomorrow will come fast so that they can go back to their office or any of their business places.
Some are tired and helpless,some don’t even see any reason to be happy; If you ask them what’s really the problem,they can’t figure it out but they know they are not okay.
FACTS
If you can cross check, introspect and meditate’ you will understand that it was not like this before for some persons, this feeling of being lonely and unhappy may just be a new development and it has a cause which may be lack of communication and connection.
Most times compassionate questioning and listening can help.
There are somethings that you as a single person may not pay attention to but when you are dating,you will start paying attention to it and you will start seeing it as a big deal,there are also things that you will neglect while dating but when you are married,you will start placing importance to it,there are also somethings you may not identify or label as fault when you are newly married but as you keep going you will see yourself seeing those things as a problem.
You can be a good wife, husband,fiance or friend but once you start mingling , comparing and expecting alot without controlling and applying emotional intelligence, believe in me,you will start having issues that will keep you frustrated and you will stop being happy,this can leads to seeing the weakness in your spouse, fiance or friends rather than seeing the best side of them.
This can lead to abuse, emotionally, physically and sexually.When all these happeneds,the victim will start believing that he or she is in the wrong place and this develop to a stage where nothing you will do to please him or her or to seek for forgiveness will yield positive outcome.
Love is like an elastic material, it stretches and comes back to it’s starting point’ if you don’t stretch it,it will remain as it is but when you keep stretching it, a time will come when it will expand and reach to it’s limit,it will lose it’s strength and never will it come back.
The stretch represents attitude.
Be it negative or positive attitude.
Positive attitude or stretch makes the other person feel Nothing more than to love you because the strength to hate has gone.
But negative attitude or stretch makes the person feel Nothing more than to hate you because the strength to love has gone.
By Okafor Johnsteve.u.
Looking at this, there are some few things I will drop for you,it will help you.
(1) Don’t blame yourself or see yourself as the worst person ever.
(2) Seek for professional help or hire a counselor.
(3)Don’t always expect a positive outcome from human,the only direction where you should put high expectations is on yourself,your God and your goals.
(4) Build your social life.
(5) Develope your own interest.
(6) Stop fighting the same fight that drains your mental health.
(7) Try volunteering,you can join any NGO or Outreach team to keep you inspired and Happy.
(8) Be grateful for what you have and always remember that somany persons are in need of what you have.
(9) Stop comparing yourself and start working on yourself to be better of your past.
I believe this will help.
Think help think counselling.
